Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
