It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
