i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
