This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I look better un-naked...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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