last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
