my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
