i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
