She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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