Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
