Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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