i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize