I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
