; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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