hotel room ftw
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
