READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
