A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
