I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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