I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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