i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
