Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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