did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think my vagina is haunted
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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