I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
