he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
