You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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