and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
