It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
