We named our party play list daddy issues
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
