i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
