I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
