that's an acceptable place to lick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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