where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
