ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
