So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
