so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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