As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
