i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
