Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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