It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
