no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
