God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
