Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
