the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
