I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
