Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
