there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
