It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My vagina is officially offended.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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