She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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