A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
