hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
