i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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