I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
